Before I came to Berkeley, I always felt that I would be able to survive emotionally overseas, be it holidays or for studies, that I would not get homesick and I would adapt well to the new environment.
Strangely, I will always have doubts roughly a couple of weeks prior to departure, where waves of nostalgia and not feelings of not wanting to part, to leave all that I have behind and go somewhere new and start all over again.
The same thing hit me as well especially with the built-up stress a mere six weeks ago. What with the flu epidemic, visa issues and housing problems, plans to move into the new place, getting to me piled with the fact that Sam and Stef were leaving for Down Under and me not being able to send them off nor see them till some unknown date, it got to me pretty bad. I was ready to throw in the towel and wished that the entire program got postponed to 2010 instead.
I just got my check-out information packet slipped under my room door and I am still in disbelief that I have to leave this room and this wonderful town in less than 48 hours’ time. It is hard to imagine not coming back to the room every day after class, having friends visit every so often, going out to parties, gossiping and bitching about people with my roommate and attend French parties every Thursday. I’m too used to this lifestyle, in just a short six weeks.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, that you learn something about yourself through every experience. I learnt that I am much stronger than I think I am. I am able to take care of myself and I don’t suffer from homesickness at all. I do not miss home, but I think I will miss this place a whole lot.
Maybe some places are just better made for some people than others are, and I think this is one of the places for me. I don’t know how I will be able to go through Thursday, knowing that I’m not gonna be seeing a lot of the people I met here possibly for years or even the rest of life.
Goodbye is always the hardest.
If I kiss you now does that make me cheap?
“Yes, but do it anyways.” —