A conversation I had with a new friend yesterday seem to have shed some light on my perceptions.
I realized that somehow I feel so adamant to want to leave lies in the fact that I have never pictured what my life here will be like. Each time I think about the future, the setting is never in the local context. I never picture myself in the rat race, chasing the same conventional dreams of the locals here. I picture my life in future to be one of a different ideal and lifestyle.
Maybe it’s been foolish of me to not have come to this conclusion when it seems so obvious and apparent. Sub-consciously, I have always not seen myself living here but I never realized it till now.
The most painful thing of all though is that reality, harsh as it always is could throw a curveball my way. Who knows?
Anyhow, now that this is all sorted and understood, it’s time to make things happen. It’s only the start.