No matter how screwed up things are or appear to be, I still can’t walk away from you. I don’t know if it’s a weakness or denial in me, but I just can’t shake this connection and I certainly don’t understand it.
I can only hope it’s something more than just pure foolishness and silly gullibility.
I think I’m a generally positive, cheerful and upbeat person but I just feel taken for granted and let down recently. I’ve been doing my best to help everyone and everything going around me the past week and wasn’t really expecting much in return, except for some consideration and time to get some of my things sorted out as well.
But no, I did not. It’s so frustrating and annoying when you put in all the work and effort, and money willingly, sincerely with the full intent of making someone’s day only to have just a teeny bit of someone else’s time and assistance rejected and thrown in your face.
I don’t regret my sacrifices, they’re family after all, and if you don’t do things for family, then who do you do it for? But sometimes, it just feels like no matter what you do, it’s just not enough and your needs are secondary, no matter how trivial it seems to others. Yes, in the grand scheme of things, it’s no big deal. But it would be nice to have some form of appreciation in terms of taking a little more effort to consider how I’d feel about it.
It’s just downright disappointing to receive a text message meant to let you down no matter what the issue. There’s no way you can win no matter what I said in reply. So I didn’t. Silence speaks the loudest anyway. Besides, what can I say anyway? No matter what I say, I’ll get shot down anyway. So what does it matter?
I’m just glad I wasn’t silly enough to give up an evening with a dear friend to get disappointed and let down… again.
Thanks for a disappointing weekend.. again.